Pick me up song!

I am not going to lie, every time that I have had downtime this week I have ended up worrying that we may never conceive. So when Mike and I cuddled up to watch our show the other night I asked him to not let this go too far (to protect me from my struggle to let things go when I want something so badly). We decided that we want a baby, but we don't want this “want” to overshadow or take away from the kids that we already have. We decided that we don't want to take any extreme measures, and we are not currently interested in adoption. My dream for this was to get pregnant, and have a baby with the man that I love. However we adore the kids that we have and could be abundantly happy exactly the way our family is. So we made a deal that we are giving this 100% to God, because obviously “control freak” Jacqui isn’t having any luck ;) We prayed about it, and set a date that if we haven’t conceived we will take this as God’s sign that we are on the wrong road, and will put the baby’s savings account into something that will build our marriage or family.
Then, yesterday, I heard a song on the radio… It was one of those “this song is just for me” moments! I quickly pulled it up on my phone (Thank God for smart phones lol), and I have listened to it over and over since. Above all of my dreams of being the perfect wife and mother of 3 is my desire to be on the road my God wants me on… to live my life not for myself, but for him.
Do I believe that God gives me the desires of my heart? Yes! But I also believe that they are not always exactly the way the I thought they would be, and honestly I have ended up so thankfully surprised when God’s plan came to fruition instead of mine so many times.
So this is my new pick me up song! I hope you like it!

Pep Talk From The Hubbs

Mike and I were cuddled up on the couch watching our most recent Netflix show. One of the main couples is trying to conceive (TTC), and another main couple gets pregnant at the worst time when they did not want another child at all... Me completely sympathizing with the 1st couple started to get mad that some people can just have babies on a whim while other couples are suffering with the pain of not conceiving.

Michael in all his wisdom looked me in the eyes, and told me "stop it"! He reminded me the best things in life come with work, and more importantly THIS IS WHAT WE WANTED! We have kids who we adore, us wanting this baby is not about us not having children. It is that we wanted a child that we planned, worked for, and enjoyed the journey together. This is the work part! Then he said, "Babe we wanted the journey together...that is what we are experiencing right now, and it is fun... have fun"!

How did I get so blessed that I get to have the fun having a baby with such a smart man?!?! So I think I will stop worrying so much about if it will happen, and just enjoy this journey :)